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Monday, October 31, 2011

Makes My Monday - Carving Jake

How to read this post:
  • Hailey is purple.
  • Matt is orange.
  • Husband is blue.
  • Mommy is red.
  • Have a sense of humor.
"No, no, no, Daddy...do it dis way."
"Yeah...do what she says."
"WTF?  Am I really being told how to do this by a coupla three year olds?"
"Haha...sucks for you."


"Haiwey, do it like dis...use your saw to move dem."
"Sigh...this is boring...can I have a snack?"
"You just refused to have dinner...no, you can't have a snack."
"Seriously...so boring...and I'm not touching that slimy crap."
"Oh Geez...let me fix dat for you..."
"Seriously, this isn't right at all...I'm looking for clean lines, Daddy!"
"Sigh..."
"Snicker...haha...giggle."

"Dis pumpkin is cool...glad I didn't have to do any work!"
"I'll stab everything on this table."


"Cheese?  You want cheese?  How's dis?"
"Oh, this is fun now...I get to smile pretty!  And tanks for moving the slime."

"I love you little pumpkin...wanna have a party?"
"Again with the party shit?  Really?  This girl will have a party with anyone in a 10 block radius!"


"Yup...I'm elbow deep in this pumpkin...someone's gotta do it right."
"I'm only mildly interested that Hailey is disemboweling that pumpkin...as long as I can rip crap apart with my saw, I'm a happy camper.

"Yes, I too think I have surgeon's hands...I might be a prodigy!"

"Yeah...me too...the prodigy of a butcher.  Haha...you get it?"

"Easy...I almost have it...I'm almost there!  SUCTION!"
"Someone's been listening a little too hard to Mommy's Grey's Anatomy episodes."

"Why yes, I will give the pumpkin a kiss...right in his eye."
"Awkward..."

"Matt, please don't hold your saw by the blade...it could hurt you."
"O-tay."

"And on top of that, I want to say one more thing!"
"Matt, please put the saw down on the table if you're going to wave your arms around like that."

"MATT!  PUT THE FUCKING KNIFE DOWN!!!"
"Geez, chill out, Mom..."

"Yes, his name is Jake."
"Oh, I know why...Mom, you know why?"
"Ummm...no...why?"
Laughter directed at Mommy.
"Herp Derp."
"WTF?"

"We love him!"
"Yeah...can we keep him?"
"Can he take his bath with me?"
"Can I sleep with him?"

"What?  What are you talking about?  I didn't take his patch away..."
"She didn't...he's just Jake."


Final product...and my flameless candles that I got at BJ's b/c I'm like 80 years old apparently...I love them.


Any guesses on why his name is Jake?

Thanks to Cheryl for making me upload pictures!