So, as many of you know, we've been having a difficult time with Matt over the past couple of weeks.
Here are some of the behaviors we observed:
- Outbursts (violent at times)
- Not listening (not even appearing to hear us)
- Shouting
- Terrible tantrums over small things
- Inability to be told "no" without verbally assaulting us
- Insisting that he do what he wanted to do that very moment
- Inflexibility
- Unreasonable requests and behavior
- Name calling...unending name calling
Many of you may attribute this to typical 3.5 year old behavior...I know I did. The thing is, it started so suddenly. Plus, a lot of this behavior was new for Matt...he would do one of these things occasionally, but not with the frequency that we were seeing. We linked it to him being sick, but then thought about it further.
When did it really start? What had changed between the beginning of the month and now other than him being sick? Why was this happening?
Then it hit me. All of the Valentine's Day candy...it was all so RED. Then I thought back to stories that friends had told me about kids with ADHD reacting poorly to food dyes (esp Red #40) and articles that I had read linking misdiagnoses of behavior disorders to processed foods...particularly sensitivity to food dyes. It hit me...Matt could be having a reaction to the dyes in the candy that he was getting.
It's hard around here when two kids get a ton of candy at random times throughout the year. I don't want to dump all of their candy, be it Halloween or Valentine's Day, in front of them and say "have at it." I think that's kind of gross and overdoing it. So, I try to spread it out. You finished your dinner? Sure, you can get a special treat from your Valentine's Day bag. They may have had one or two pieces a day...depending on the day. And they were all so RED!
Could that be enough to change his behavior this much???
Husband and I discussed and he, very matter of factly, said, "just throw it out...get rid of it all. We'll see if we notice a change."
So, we did. It all went in the garbage. A small part of me cringed because people had paid good money for that stuff and it was just all going away. Plus, candy is so yummy!
Within 24 hours, we noticed a difference. It was hard b/c Hailey was sick and we were busy taking care of her, but once I took Hailey out shopping for construction paper, Husband could spend some one-on-one time with Matt. He said it was like being with a different kid.
When Hailey and I got home, I started to notice it too. I'd ask him to do something and he'd do it without argument. I'd take a toy away from him because he used a rude word and he wouldn't completely meltdown...as a matter of fact, he would walk away saying, "I get it Mama...I get it."
This was two days ago and it's just been getting better. As we discussed it further today, we tried to go through all of the times this year that we've seen a sudden switch in behavior and tried to link them to an increase in food dyes. Truth be told, every single time has been around a candy-ridden time (Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc.). I shouldn't just say candy either b/c it doesn't happen with just chocolate. It's so weird, right? It's just with the candies that include food dyes...this means lollipops, some gummies, M&Ms (this one makes me sad), some frosting, some cakes, some ice pops, and anything else that has food dyes.
Keep this in mind...we don't eat a lot of processed foods. We made that decision early on in the Crazies childhood and we've stuck to it. It takes a lot more planning. It's more expensive. It's time consuming to prepare everything. However, it totally pays off. That may also be the reason for his behaviors being so notable. We just don't eat a lot of processed stuff, so we don't see this behavior often either.
Does this make me a tree hugger? Maybe...I'm definitely going to be searching for naturally flavored and colored jelly beans for Easter. Does this make me a little crunchy? Maybe...I'm definitely going to be more careful with our food labels. Does this make me an overreacting mother who is desperately searching for a reason for her son's ridiculous behavior? Maybe...but I think I found my reason, so there...I win. Does this make me a food snob? Maybe...but I'd rather be a food snob than deal with this shit for another few weeks.
According to my very "beginning stage" research, cutting out food dyes has also been beneficial in other areas...behavior in kids with ADHD, people who suffer from migraines, kids with violent/defiant behavior, and, quite possibly, many other things of which we're not even aware.
So, we'll see how it goes. I'm going to be extremely careful. I may let them have one day of candy and then get rid of it all. It's true that the candy seems to linger FOREVER anyway. It's just annoying.
What do you guys think? What have you heard? Any experiences? Do you think I'm nuts?
Want more think-points? Check out this post...very interesting.
20 comments:
Wow! Great observation and correlation. I would not be surprised at all if you're right. We've been trying to eat better around here this past year and do a lot less processed foods, too. I know I have several friends who say they notice BIG changes in their kids when they eat certain things.
That's great if you've found the source and can make the conscious effort to keep making better changes for your health (& sanity!).
I think you're crunchy and AWESOME!!
A friend of mine has banned all things with any type of dye in them from her house, as one of her kids had a very similar reaction. When she sat down and thought about it, the only thing she could pinpoint, like you, was the dye. Even hotdogs have that red dye in it...who knew??
I'm glad you were able to figure out what the issue was!!
Since I was a young girl I had migraines and one of the things was linked to dye since I was drinking a lot of Kool Aid. While they didn't completely stop, maybe I need to look into the color/number of dye, etc.
Thank you!!!! You are a great mom!
Glad you have noticed such a difference. No one needs stuff with dye in it anyway, do they? Seriously?
I don't think you are nuts in the least. I think you are right on point. My best friend has three kids that can't have food dyes or processed foods. Heck she does better without it as well. You and your husband know your babies better than anyone. If you see that much of a difference you would be crazy NOT to monitor those kinds of foods. So proud of you for not just slapping him on meds. They are very lucky kids to have parents that know them so well that they can figure out what is going on with them if they are not quite acting like themselves. :-)
I'm glad you are seeing such a difference. I think there is some validity to cutting out the dyes and chemicals. There will always be other factors in behavior as well though, so don't get frustrated if you see a temporary backslide...my sister is allergic to Red 40 and she still had MANY years of...let's call it 'difficult' behavior. : )
Glad M is back to normal!
my SIL swears by this. my nephew doesn't get any red dye and she says his behavior is night and day. and she can tell in an instant if he's had red dye.
what does it matter? it's not like you're depriving him of something, right? he'll still get healthy food. he'll still get love. he just won't get something that isn't that great for any of us, and MIGHT cause a little more distress in his little system.
so. no, i don't think it's nuts.
and maybe i need some food tips? i feel like we've been eating more and more processed food the pickier that T has gotten!!!
Crunchy is good when it comes to our kids IMO. We have instituted a candy exchange in our house around holidays that are associated with lots of candy. They each get to pick 2 pieces of candy to keep. They them get to sell me the candy for their choice of a movie, game, special alone time with parent of their choice, etc. They don't have to be expensive things but things that they will value long after the candy would be gone anyway. I have noticed that it makes a big difference in my children's behavior to give them candy.
Crunch, no! Crazy, absolutely not! If anything, I'm hoping you're inspired! Inspired enough to do my shopping too! DH loves processed food, I loathe it. It's a really issue in our house. He man could live on blue box mac and tastykakes and he sees nothing wrong with it. And for every argument I make, he points to an opposite argument disproving it.
So kudos to you for follow through and having such a unified front! I'm jealous. I hope it works out for the best.
Viva la whole foods!
There is NOTHING crunchy about this---this is smart, intuitive, good parenting. What you eat has such a HUGE affect on everything: not just how you look, but how you FEEL and (for kids) how you grow. If he is this sensitive to the dyes and processed crap, then you are doing him and yourself a service by keeping it out of his diet. No explanation needed!
You know I'm old enough to be your parent. I've long held a belief that your generation is the first one exposed to many preservatives and artificial EVERYTHING. I have no scientific proof to validate my belief that this exposure is the reason for the increase of sensitivities and reactions. I think you're wise to eat as your grandparents did. It was a simple rule I followed raising my kids, "If it wasn't around for my parents, then my kids didn't eat it." I know they deviated from it once they could make up their own mind, but it was a simple enough rule that even I could follow it. I think parental observations, like the one you made are very wise.
I had to wait a day before commenting because I sent this to two work friends and they've both just told me they have now read it :)
So I can feel free to talk :)
The one work friend's son was diagnosed with ADHD years and years ago. She, being slightly anti-meds, told them she'll do what she can with food and she cut out all foods with any dyes - she's now a label expert and again, night and day behaviour.
She exchanges all sweets they get for chocolate which is better than sweets with dye
Wow...missed this post originally, but so glad I went back to read.
I've heard about this very peripherally, but now it makes me want to go look at the labels on food!
In general, I like to think we don't do a lot of processed food, either...and the girls don't have much sugar...but I don't go so far as to make our crackers, for example.
In any case, so glad you found something that seems to help!!!
I totally belive in that. As much as possible I dont have anything colored in my house, I Am alergic to red food coloring, it give me the more horrific migranes so I dont have it all or or give to my family either.
I am in total agreement! When there is a REALLY ba day here (no naps, irrational behavior outside of the normal stuff, screaming! Etc) it is typically food related. She doesn't get candy but maybe once every few weeks, but other foods (fruit snacks!) will do it. It's SUPER hard sometimes because she only eats a handful of things, one of them being chicken nuggets, but we do what we can to keep esp foods with red#40 out if her little hands.
Good catch, mama!!
You are a freaking genius to even figure this out. I would have never even thought of this.
I know I'm late on the comment but I had to say that I totally and completely agree. I suddenly realized the link between what we eat when hubby went on a kick of eating all natural meats and suddenly the migraines I used to get 2-3 times per week disappeared. Once I thought about it, it made total sense, I'm allergic to just about every antibiotic out there!
So yeah, I can see how red dyes could easily effect his behavior. And good catch momma!
Nice detective work Mama. Keep us posted on what you learn.
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