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| This picture was taken after a weekend with Daddy...the kid was SOBBING because Daddy deigned to go to work. Oh, and he could have cared less that I was around...he was actually pissed off that I was around. |
Oh.my.God...this kid is killing me lately.
Absolutely killing me!
I'm a tough cookie. Nothing that a 3.5 year old kids says really bothers me, but I could see how it could get to someone after some time (especially you weaklings who get their feelings hurt every other second...LOL).
Phrases I'm sick of hearing around my house:
- "I don't want you MOMMY!"
- "I want Daddy!"
- "DaddyDaddyDaddyDaddy..."
- "Where's Daddy?"
- "I want my Daddy...sob, sniffle, whimper."
- "Stupid poop."
- "Stupid."
- "Poopy."
- "I don't want Daddy to be at work!!! I want YOU to be at work!!!"
I'm over it, people.
Here's the thing, I know that developmentally, this is normal behavior. I know there comes a time in every child's life where he/she will gravitate to one parent or the other. I know that he is currently OBSESSED with anything Daddy. I know that, in his current set of eyes, I am crap.
I get that...he doesn't have to tell me every 2 seconds though!
The other day, he refused to go to the aquarium with me, Hailey, and GG. Daddy wasn't going b/c he was going to wait for some dude to come around and talk about the trees we need trimmed. He flat out refused to go (and Husband told him it was okay to go to Dunkin Donuts with us to get a donut, but that we'd drop him back off...WTF, Husband???).
Fine.
It was easier without him and his tantrums, if I'm being honest.
When we got back, hours later, he says, "I wanna go to the aquarium now." WTF???
We've also been having a bit of a phobic stretch too. He thinks there is a green garbage truck that knocks the cans down. He seems to think that it could get him, so not only does he obsess about it at night, but he hides in the corner, calls us in repeatedly, sleeps with his blankets over his head, and wakes in a sweaty tangled state of panic. The only one who can talk him down is Daddy...ugh...
It's getting ridiculous. I must stay strong though. I am the sole behaviorist in the house for most of the hours as I spend the bulk of the day with the Crazies. I am the one in charge of making sure that our house runs in an efficient manner. I make sure that the Crazies know the expectations of our house and act accordingly. That is my job...I get that (and I am so lucky that Husband backs me up 100% and steps right in when I'm at tutoring to accept only slightly less than I would).
It's just hard some days.
So, I'm going to be as even-tempered as possible. I'm going to take a bazillion deep breaths. I'm going to use a calm tone of voice. I'm going to be consistent in my punishments. I'm going to state the rules as matter-of-factly as I can. I'm going to keep him from hurting his sister (luckily, he still loves her and hasn't really lashed out toward her). I'm going to do my best to avoid situations that would be bad for him and his entire fragile world in which he lives (i.e. skipping naps, going off routine, changing snacks, etc.). I'm going to make sure that he knows that no matter what, I love him and I will protect him.
Because he needs me...and that's that.
12 comments:
Aww the green truck! I'm so waiting for tomorrow's post when Matt calls 911 about the truck coming to get him!
Poor Mommy! I love the quote in the big letters - very logical...
You will be appreciated someday, probably before you realize that that time is here, trust me. In the meantime, you have a lovely plan - you might have to use it as a mantra, saying it over and over and over to keep your cool. His favorite word "Stupid" would get on anybody's every last nerve
Being the sole behaviorist can get on anyone's nerves. He is tired of you, just like you are tired of him ;) The difference is that he is 3.5 and is "allowed" to say what he feels and you are 35+ and will cause trauma for messing with their minds if you said what you wanted! It is hard. really hard. It will get better! Just repeat that over and over and maybe you will start to believe it one day.
You are such a great mama! (Just watched the video.) It's so tough being a parent. Once it gets easier they throw you into something newer and harder.
oh Rebecca, I feel for you. I had the same thing with Connor which I need to write about properly. It is so hard when they're so blatant about it.
Just keep being cool calm and collected and I found one on one dates helped ME feel a bit better. Of course the minute we were home it was all Daddy again but there it is.
OMG, is he adorable or what? I've learned everything I need to know about the green truck from this video!
It's so hard when they go through the "I want Daddy" stage. Daddy's always seem to be the fun ones who come home after work, all happy and ready to get on the floor and play. While Mommy is stuck disciplining all day long.
It sucks big time.
We have the opposite problem around here - both Sarah and Adam only want Mommy and snub daddy all the time. I feel guilty that they are so lovey with me and so stingy with him. I do love their admiration but there are times when I just need some space and time to clear my head w/o them fighting over me or yelling for me. And I could do w/o the guilt trips from them.
But I totally get that it would be so tough to be on the other side all the time. Tough to not take it personally some days.
Good luck - hang in there. Hope the Green Truck nightmares end soon!
1. my kids always say, "I NEED my Daddy!" it's not that they would like to have him, they don't PREFER him. They NEED him.
2. Matt is so cute in that video! Isn't it funny how it all makes perfect sense in their little minds?
My mom always told me that we hurt the ones we love the best, the most.
Mine all want daddy to stay home from work, but they have a freak attack when I leave the house. MAJOR freak out.
If you learn how to keep a calm voice, let me know.
I remember these days with Tot. I swore the child hated me. To this day, she still prefers Bee, but I'm okay with that. It's tough when you can't reason with them though.
We eerily have a lot in common. My twins turned 5 in January, and I have to say from the age of 4-5, they changed leaps and bounds. They play for hours and hours, all day, together without needing or wanted me to interfere. They are independent, witty, thoughtful, helpful (for the most part, still won't clean up their freaking toys)... And, they are obsessed with daddy. It's frustrating at times.
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