|I would love to never vacuum again...ever again...ever.|
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
So, since GG was here yesterday and I didn't feel like dragging her into my "kick your ass so hard that you can't sit on the toilet normally until Thursday" class, I skipped the gym.
I decided (well, Husband suggested, but whatever) to go today and have my own little work out using moves that I learned in my "if you had balls, they'd crawl back up inside your body" class.
So, I did.
You see, for the past few months, I've been sticking to classes. I will occasionally go into the weight areas and work the machines for my knee, but classes have been my thing lately.
I realized why today...they keep me away from the general public.
So, here are my rants for today:
- If you're working with a personal trainer, please don't complain that "you still hurt from the other day" or "that exercise is hard." You're working with a personal trainer, so you're lucky. You're working with a personal trainer because you want results. If you didn't get results, you'd be pissed, so quit your bitching and lift your damn 5 pound weights over your oddly shaped head.
- If you're a dude under the age of 50, don't wear a polo shirt while you work out. It's just weird.
- If you have to hurl your weights up off of the floor, they're too heavy. Switch weights.
- Stop talking and work out. Yes, the gym can be a social place, but just get the fuck out of my way, get off the machine I want to use, and basically stop annoying me.
- Don't give me a dirty look for using the bench right next to where you are on the floor. If you don't like my proximity, move your damn mats, but I am NOT going to lift up this 500 pound bench and move it so that you're comfortable...I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT!!!
- Please don't be self-conscious. If you're overweight and working out, I give you all the credit in the world. After all, when I was pregnant with the Crazies I realized how difficult it was to move around with all of that extra weight. It sucks. Don't think that everyone is looking at your though...you rock just for being here. You know what they say...you're lapping everyone on the couch, so don't give up. Just don't think I'm staring at you...I'm not.
- Please arrange your nipples accordingly...this one goes out mostly to the ladies b/c of our thin material and our shelf bras, but seriously...crooked nipples just freak me out.
- If you're going to have a kick ass workout, please don't come home and eat 1/4 pound of salami...it's gross (this one is just for me...in my defense, I did have some crackers with it...I'm not completely uncivilized)!
That's all for now.