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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

confessions

  • I probably shouldn't be drinking a chai latte at 4:42 in the afternoon.
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  • I think Bristol Palin is a whiner (DWTS...yes, I'm a loser).
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  • I make a mean beef stew.
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  • I keep getting holes in my shirt where my jeans stick out b/c they get bent over whenever I sit down because my tummy skin (fat...whatever...call it what you will) comes over my waist band and makes it stick out.  I was throwing the shirts away calling them "defective," but that's just not fair.  Today I mended my first shirt and couldn't be prouder.
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  • The above bullet thinks I should spend more time on abs and less time on my seamstress skills.
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  • The above bullet makes me remember that I had twins and there's nothing I can do about the excess skin (even though GG told me that my body would reabsorb the skin and that was an outright lie).
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  • I've been baking a lot.  That's not the confession.  I don't really enjoy baked goods.  That's not the confession either.  The confession is that I keep baking because I'm secretly hoping that Husband will eat himself into a state of fat and have the same problem with holes in his shirt that I do.  Isn't that terrible??
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  • I ignored Hailey for a while today when she was melodramatically screaming for me.  I was in the middle of something, Matt walked by the office and told me she was "being way grumpy," and I ignored it.  Sad part is, when I walked around the house to find out what the issue was, it was that she had half-shat herself while trying to make it onto the toilet and there was shit all over the place.  Mom fail.
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  • I talk shit way too much about sports to people who would have otherwise believed I was nice.  Hand to God, the other day I said something about the Orioles probably not having a winter line of clothing b/c they were only used to playing in warm weather and some woman actually told me how nice she thought I was.  Ha...little does she know...
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  • I don't know if I really want people to believe I'm nice.
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  • The goats were getting really aggressive at the pumpkin farm this morning and instead of warning my children to get back, I encouraged them to "pet the goats" and "get closer" because they couldn't reach the food.  It's the truth...I have it all on tape and didn't even realize how bad it was until I played it back in the car.  
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  • The above bullet made me think about how many other parenting choices I'd reconsider if I taped myself all the time.
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  • I wholeheartedly believe a well-placed scarf can hide the fact that my shirt is wrinkled.
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  • I believe boots are a Godsend, but I'm not sure I can pull off the "boots over jeans" look because I'm short.
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  • I was really insulted the other day when a student (that I taught 7 years ago) didn't remember my name.  I consider myself unforgettable, apparently.
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  • I went to a workout class (a really hard one) yesterday and my cold wasn't 100% gone.  I seriously thought I was going to drown b/c of all the congestion that was sticking around (no pun intended).  It was horrible and I have decided that I don't want to drown when I die.