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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

"She's a Bully"

Sometimes when I drop the Crazies off at preschool, I peek in to see how they interact with other students.  Do they go right to playing?  Do they have friends that they talk to?  How are they doing when I'm not around?

I'm convinced that parents all over are asking that last question day in and day out.

Anyway, I noticed that after Hailey put her bag in her cubby, she immediately went over to her friend M.  M had had head in her hands and looked very dejected.  As I was standing there, willing her to take her fleece off before she checked in with her friend, I realized that I was completely wrong.  Of course the right thing to do was to check on her friend...not worry about disrobing right at that moment.

M has a little bit of a dramatic streak, but then again, so does Hailey.  Maybe it's why they're so attracted to their friendship.

Over lunch, I asked Hailey what is our conversation:

Me:  Hailey, I saw you talking to M this morning.  Was she upset?
Hailey:  Ummm...yeah.  She was sad.
Me:  Oh really?  That was nice of you to see if she was okay.  What was she sad about?
Hailey:  Well, C said she wasn't M's best friend anymore and M was very sad.
Me:  C said that?  That doesn't seem very nice.
Hailey:  Nope.  That's not nice at all.  C's still my friend though.  She gave me a big hug on the playground.  Oh, and I helped M feel better.
Me:  Okay...what happened with C and M as the day went on?

Hailey:  Well, M told me that C was a bully.
Me:  Do you think C is a bully?  (at this point, I'm incredulous that Hailey would even know what a bully was, but I was going with it)
Hailey:  I don't.  I think they're both nice.  They're both my friends.
Me:  How did this all end up?  Are you all friends now?
Hailey:  Uh-huh.  And dat was all.

They're FOUR!!!  How the hell do things like this happen in a group of 4-year olds??

Maybe I'm naive.  Maybe I have a horrible memory (that's actually true), but I don't remember having problems like this when I was four.  Fourth grade, maybe, but not at 4-years old.

Then I get into "Mom mode" and want to tell Hailey to find other friends because we all know what happens to the third friend in a group of three...eventually the first two always find their way back to each other.  I also briefly considered emailing C's mother...WTF was I thinking????  I must have been low on oxygen during that little time in my day.  I also considered talking to the Crazies about bullying, but it's not really appropriate.  Granted, Matt has a kid who "annoys" him and he doesn't want to play with, but I don't know if kids should be introduced to the concept of bullying at such a young age.  

Anyone else have an experience like this?  I'd love to know what you did about it.