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Monday, May 20, 2013

Maybe I Won't Die Young After All!

At least that's what I've come to believe.

There was a time that I didn't think I'd make it past 27, so all of my bad decisions (sleepless night, partying, habitually eating fast food 2-3 times a day some days, and not exercising) seemed just fine.

I really thought I'd die young.

And now I'm 39 fucking years old.

Although, when I was 27, I joined a gym and started working out semi-regularly.  I was one of those girls who would wear nothing but a sports bra...just because I could.

I wasn't completely inept.

That was then.

This is now.

I'm fully in the tankini range and proud of it.  Actually I went bathing suit shopping this morning and didn't feel like breaking out the Sharpie to circle my "problem areas."

I've made some changes.

I work out regularly (including body weight work outs, cycling, some weight training, yoga, and walking).

I've started keeping an eye on my calories thanks to this app.


I've started to think about carbs, proteins, and fats all working together to make my body work.  And I do work...hard!

I'm also nervous about how my routine will change when I head back to work in August.  When will I work out?  What will I eat?  Will I gain 30 pounds b/c I'm back at work and don't have enough time for myself anymore?

Maybe, but I hope not.

I also bought this book and am actually reading it (and taking notes...what a nerd, right?):


I've made some changes...I've integrated ones.  I've tried almond coconut milk...and not hated it.

I've stopped drinking wine during the week.  You should have seen Husband's face when I put the leftover wine in my Box-o in the FREEZER last Sunday night so that I wouldn't be tempted during the week.  He thought I was nuts.  I know my own willpower.  It's not good.

So, things are changing around here and I'm proud of myself.  I'm proud because I'm taking time to think about myself.  I'm proud because I know that I don't want to be one of those hunched over old women I see in the grocery store.  I want to be vibrant when I turn the dreaded 4-0 and beyond.  I want to be able to live my life rather than be stuck watching everyone else live their lives.

I want to live life to the fullest.  When the Crazies head to college, I'll be a mere 52.  That's not old (sure, it seemed old when I was 18, but it's really not)!!!

Husband will only be 48 and I'm going to have to keep up with him too!

So, what I'm saying is that I'm dedicated.  After years of GG telling me that I wasn't eating well or Husband offering me his protein shakes, I'm finally taking it all seriously and I'm proud of myself.  Considering that we both have heart disease in our families, we really need to be on the ball.  Plus, we're setting a good example for the Crazies rather than so much of our country who is set on the "eat whatever you like, be fat, and not care...someone else will pay for it" gravy train.

God...I wrote that and my mouth didn't even water for gravy!

These changes that I'm making...they're a gift that I can somehow give myself every day.  I can lay down at the end of the day and know that I did something for myself.  I gave myself a present...even if it is just three more days when I'm 85 years old.  I'll take it!

Plus, if I write it down, I'm more likely to be help accountable...even if it is just by me.  I'll hold myself accountable.  I'm not looking for huge changes.  I like the shape of my body right now (even if the texture could use some work).  I'm pretty happy with myself, but I know I can be better.  I will be better.  I will commit myself to living long enough to bug the shit out of the Crazies.

Anyone else making some big changes?


Hillary said...

I love this. All of it.

As much as I work out for vanity's sake, I realize more with every year how important it is for my health. There are some seriously sketchy family history things going on for me, so the more I can counteract those, the better. Now I just need to get Nick on board too!

Manda said...

jeez you're making me feel bad! i know you're in a different place than i am so that gives me some hope. this baby just sucks all the life (and time) out of me. i'll be joining the Y next month so i hope to get back on track. i'll use you as my role model!

strongblonde said...

can't wait to hear how this goes!! :) did you do pre measurements/photos?

Barbara Manatee said...

You're amazing. And yes... I'll warn you - it'll be a big adjustment to figure out how to balance it all when you go back to work. It took me a bit to get on the right track for ME and I finally did that 2 years ago...and then life/work/going back to school changed this year and that routine fell apart and I'm so far off the wagon right now its sad. :-( Totally needed this summer to get back at it and take care of ME again!!