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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Even Though I am Dramatic, I Could NEVER be an Actress

Seriously...the build-up, the part right before you give your audition, the actual audition (of which I'm sure most people block out), the after party, and then the waiting.

I could never do it on a daily basis.

I am a basket case.

So, I had two interviews a few weeks ago.  One was at my old school and I didn't get that one.  We've covered this.

The other one was a school in which I was interested.  Different/more difficult demographic, but good subject matter and good age.  It was a hike, but one I was willing to take.  My former principal informed me they had chosen a different candidate.

I was bummed.

I resigned myself to another year of tutoring and started to get myself in that mind-set.

Then I decided, on a whim, to check out the application for the county in which we reside.  Makes sense, right, but for whatever reason, I was holding off.

So, I signed in and realized that all of my information from my application in my old county would transfer right over.  Hit enter and we're done.  Now, I didn't really think this would go anywhere b/c there weren't any publicized openings in the county.  I just thought it would go on record and we'd see if anything materialized over the course of the year.

Then I got a call about a math opening at a middle school...5 MINUTES FROM MY HOUSE!!!

I was psyched.  I set up the interview.  I had hope again that I'd be in the classroom.

Then I got a call from my old county's HR dude.  The second school wanted to offer me a position.

What the fucking fuck???  I thought they went in a different direction!  What is happening???

I tell the HR dude that I have an interview in another county and I will let him know.

I find someone to watch the Crazies...I love having good friends.

I put my interview dress back on...yes, I have one interview dress and I will use it for all it's worth.

I put my heels back on...how the hell did I wear these damn things all day long for YEARS???

I head over the interview and I am freaking.out.

I can't get my shit together.

I sweat, shake, and hate on my shaky voice for half of the interview.  Who wouldn't with four people taking turns asking questions???  It was like a shooting range!

I finally hit my groove and started using the lingo and giving concrete examples of what I would do in certain situations.  I was remembering things and bringing them up at appropriate times.  I was using Common Core language...ugh.  I was positive.  I was honest.  I was witty.

Then I walked out and started doubting myself immediately.

I hate myself for that.

I picked up the Crazies and started to dissect the interview, but there are seriously parts that I cannot remember...at.all.

So, I write my thank you email to the principal and math supervisor.  I thank them for their time...yadda, yadda, yadda.

I shoot off an email to HR dude telling him that I'll know by Friday.

I get a response back that totally throws me for a loop and makes me think that I've lost the job that is 5 MINUTES AWAY FROM CASA DE CRAZIES!!!

Something like "it was great to interview you...hope we cross paths at some point...you've got a bright future ahead of you."

Sounds like a good-bye, right????

Then I get all down in the dumps, but I can't b/c H&M are both having friends over and I have to be Mommy Funmaker.

So, I do that for a while and remain completely on edge.

Now I find out that the principal of the school in my old county wants more candidates b/c he doesn't want to be hung out to dry.  I TOTALLY get that, but now I'm panicked about being left with NOTHING!!!!

Ugh...how do actresses do this?

Oh, and the reason this is ending so abruptly (aside from the fact that I have no answers and could go batshit crazy trying to dissect the emails) is b/c I am about to finish my beer and making dinner, so I have shit to do.  Did I mention that New Teacher Orientation could start next Friday???  Not like I have a fucking life to plan or anything!!!!!

5 comments:

Kelly said...

I SO love and appreciate this post! Such is the life of a teacher. I know it's hard to believe this when it's happening to you- but believe that everything happens for a reason. What's meant to be will be. Can't wait to see what happens on Friday!!!

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

Just wanted you to know I'm following this nutty journey of yours and cheering you on. Wherever you land for the upcoming year, you're gonna rock it, 'cause that's what you do.

Enjoy your beer...and then maybe some wine...and try not to dwell on what's out of your hands. Easier said than done, I know...but that's where the beer and wine come into play. :)

Hang in there...wishing you all the best!!!

strongblonde said...

wow. what a change of events, huh?? how crazy.

the next 48 hours are going to be killer. do you have a gut instinct??

also: stop dissecting the whole thing :) you can't change it any more and you will just make yourself crazier!!!

drink up, babe! (and congrats!)

Barbara Manatee said...

I hate that feeling of being stuck in between 2 possibilities - you don' want to loose one but you want to see what the other one may offer. Ugh!!

Forget this Ed Spec stuff...I'm just going to stay put in my comfort zone forever...ha!

Carrie27 said...

The last minute crap would totally put me on edge. A week from now?! That's huge!