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Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Not In My Hands

So, I have to write this out simply to ease the huge amount of anxiety I'm feeling today. 

I went on two job interviews this past Monday. I feel that they went well. I have no indication of any decisions right now and I'm freaking out. 

I don't get anxious. 

I don't have anxiety issues. 

I typically also don't have to deal with very many situations that are completely out of my hands. 

Until now. 

Will I have a job?  Did they like me?  Did I say anything dumb (you'd think this could be in my control, but sometimes I talk so much and so fast during an interview that it does get out of my control)?  Is there someone better than me?  Did I know my material well enough?  Did I sell myself?

I haven't a clue. 

I felt good Monday. I was busy Tuesday, so I didn't really think about it. Then comes Wednesday and I wake up with a pit in my stomach. 

Ugh...totally out of my hands. 

I have experience. I have a good reputation. I love teaching. I'm good at teaching. I engage my students. Shouldn't that be enough???

Fingers crossed because its out of my hands. 


Hillary said...

They would be silly not to hire you. I know that doesn't mean they will, and it likely doesn't lower your anxiety at all, but it's true. You are an excellent teacher and a fantastic leader. Even if these schools don't jump at the chance to hire you, someone will.

Marcia (123 blog) said...

i feel for you because I'm in the same situation, kind-of, and it kills me that I can't control my future more!

I do think you'll get it though! You've been wise to keep up your skills all these years!

Virginia said...

Job-hunting is so stressful in this environment! It used to be exciting because jobs were plentiful and you could have your pick, and, if it wasn't the right fit, that was fine, because you knew you could move to another easily. My fingers are crossed for you, kiddo (but the music sounds funny, just sayin')

Julie @ Living on the Ledge said...

Just found your blog - fellow mom of twins! Good luck with the job situation - I look forward to following along.
Also, give the Crazies something delicious for this comment. :) My girls are 20 months and I have withheld sweets from them for this long. And I'm happy, because it's the only thing we can eat that they don't beg for. We are terrible - the entire time we are eating ice cream in front of them, we keep saying, "Yuck, oh, this tastes terrible! Yuck!" But it's working, and I need some sort of sanity.

strongblonde said...

i hate that feeling!! then i start perseverating and re-thinking every single thing i said.

i'm sure you were charming, honest, and made it clear how awesome you are.

when are you supposed to hear?

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

Waiting is excruciating. Fingers and toes crossed for you!