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Monday, January 21, 2013

VD

The dreaded Valentine's Day...whoever thought it could get so elaborate?

We just got the letters home from preschool asking for Valentines to be sent in with each child's name written on the envelope.  If your child doesn't want to write each name, he/she can cut them out the glue them on the envelope.

There are two problems with this...one, the Valentines we bought do not come with envelopes (b/c really, aren't envelopes just a waste of paper anyway?  I'm going green).  Two, I have one child who is already finished writing her names on all of her Valentines and wants to hand them out TOMORROW and I have one child who could give a shit less.

These are the ones we chose:  

Image credit


They are sticker puzzles...they are Ninjago (b/c everyone loves Ninjago, right?) and the have no envelopes.  The stickers correspond with numbers on the back of the card and that's educational, right?  Therein lies another problem...the part where you write the names is also where you stick the stickers.  If we have the reluctant writer cut and paste his names onto the back, the numbers will be covered up and no one will be able to do their Ninjago puzzle and kids will be crying all over town.

Ugh...

THEN!  I saw a preschool Mom post something about plastic magnifying glasses on FB and I just know she's going to do this:



And while that is totally cute, I just don't have the energy for something like that.  Trust me, I looked on Pinterest and everything said, "nah...you're not cut out for this sort of cuteness" or "just remember, if you find one cute idea, you have to find another, oh, mother of twins."

Ugh...

So, I have decided that there is no way I'm going all out on VD.  It's just not going to happen.  Everyone will get our Ninjago puzzles and if they can put them together, congrats.  If not, you suck and your kids need to practice their puzzles.  That's where I am at this point.  

Oh, and stop handing out fucking candy...please!  My kids have what we like to call "energy issues"...shit, most kids do, right?  So why do we keep giving them copious amounts of CANDY????  I'm over it (and so is my Red #40 intolerant son who turns into a raving lunatic with red candy).

Another thing...no "buttons."  Someone actually gave out buttons last year and while that may seem cute, they're actually needles stuck onto metal and they can really injure a kid who doesn't know how to use them.  Hmph...buttons!

I think that's all for this rant.  I guess what I'm saying is this...when you choose a Valentine for your child to bring in, please don't lace it with sugar (or cyanide for that matter).  Please don't choose some cheap piece of plastic that makes noise.  Please don't choose something so cute that the Crazies fall in love with it and won't let me throw it away.  Please think "is this something I would need/want in my house?"  If the answer is no and you're taking the "not my problem" attitude, then expect payback in a big way.

Can you tell I think VD is stupid?