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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Strict Mom, Dumb Mom, Quiet Mom, Loud Mom

There are all sorts out there, folks...it's amazing to witness the different parenting styles.  I could write a sociology dissertation on types of mothering and its effect on society.

I know which one I am.  I'm not quite sure how I decided, but I could only assume that it's due to having a background in teaching and knowing that I want to raise the Crazies to be productive and respectful members of our society.  I'm a Strict Mom.

Strict Moms will probably do some of the following:
  • Strict Mom sets limits.
  • Strict Mom has her children do chores just because they're part of the household and "we all pitch in."
  • Strict Mom makes them repeat what she's said for retention and future use.
  • Strict Mom yells (sometimes).
  • Strict Mom makes a big deal out of seemingly small things (because she knows that small things lead to big things...like gateway drugs).
  • Strict Mom gives her children a time-out in public.
  • Strict Mom yanks her children off of playground equipment if behaving inappropriately.
  • Strict Mom speaks to other people's children in a way that she would her own...especially if they're doing something dangerous and their parent isn't paying attention or saying anything and the safety of other children is in question.
  • Strict Mom will leave a gathering, play date, or other venue if her child is not acting in accordance to her rules.
  • Strict Mom requires manners at all times.
  • Strict Mom expects all children in her house (whether or not they're hers) to adhere to the rules she has laid out.
Yes, I am a Strict Mom and I am proud of it.  

Then there is the Dumb Mom.  I cannot tolerate the Dumb Mom.  Whether it's inexperience, youth, true stupidity, or laziness, it all sends me over the edge.

Disclaimer:  Sometimes we're all Dumb Mom...whether it's due to overtiredness, new baby in the house, death of a family member, or general overwhelmed-ness.  We can all fall into this category.  I'm speaking of the habitual Dumb Moms.

Here are some things that Dumb Mom might do:
  • Dumb Mom yells the same thing over and over even though her child is ignoring her.
  • Dumb Mom tells the child to come here and do nothing when he doesn't.
  • Dumb Mom threatens certain punishments and rarely follows through.
  • Dumb Mom puts her child on medication without fully exploring her options.
  • Dumb Mom blames everyone but herself for the child's misbehavior.
  • Dumb Mom does have a set system of rules for her household.
  • Dumb Mom ignores misbehavior in a public setting (i.e. a playground or party).
  • Dumb Mom makes excuses like "she just loves too hard" or "that boy will never listen to me."
Dumb Mom needs to get a fucking clue.  I thought they were fictional until I witnessed one in action the other day.  I was crawling out of my skin.

Quiet Mom seems harmless, but she can have her own set of problems.  Quiet Mom is typically sweet, shy, and nice.  Those aren't necessarily bad things.  It's when they effect her parenting that it irks me.  

Here are some things you might find Quiet Mom doing:
  • When another child attacks her child, Quiet Mom won't say anything...even if it happens repeatedly.
  • Quiet Mom will not speak up and tell her child to move away from the offender.
  • Quiet Mom may put herself in the middle of the children as a passive way of getting her point across.  Passivity rarely works on preschoolers, BTW.
  • Quiet Mom will sit by and see if anyone else does something (like the parent of the offender).  She needs to be very patient sometimes (especially if she's dealing with a Dumb Mom).
  • Quiet Mom always has tissues for her child's runny nose.
  • Quiet Mom will never ever say anything to the offending child directly.
  • Quiet Mom is liked by everyone (except the Strict Mom...Strict Mom thinks she needs to speak up).
  • Quiet Mom seems harmless, but really needs to speak up every now and then for her child's own good.
Then there's Loud Mom.  I can be a bit like her too.  I think Strict Mom and Loud Mom go hand in hand in certain settings.  The difference between the two is that Strict Mom is loud when she really needs to be and Loud Mom is just loud to be loud.

Here are some things you may find Loud Mom doing:
  • Loud Mom may yell at her child when her child isn't really doing anything wrong.
  • Loud Mom may speak disparagingly about her child in a loud voice when the child is 5 feet away.
  • Loud Mom makes a big deal about every problem (i.e. school budgets, snow days, world peace), but never has a solution.
  • Loud Mom loves to complain.
  • Loud Mom is the one who audibly gasps when she thinks something is going to happen.
  • Loud Mom throws looks in everyone's direction (haha...I do this sometimes) for every reason.
  • Loud Mom interjects herself into everyone's conversations.
  • Loud Mom typically has a very quiet husband (he has no choice).
  • Loud Mom has issues respecting personal space.
Loud Mom can be good sometimes and she can be completely annoying.  She's good because she'll say things that no one else really wants to say, but she's also annoying because she'll complain without having any hint of a solution.  She's complaining to be heard, but doesn't actually want to do anything to help.

So, there are my types...can you add anything?  I'd love to hear the kinds of Moms you've encountered.